14 weeks, 6 days: On Saying "Pregnant People"

I try to remember to say "pregnant people", not "pregnant women".  Here's why.

A story

Right around the time I found out I was pregnant, I created a profile on The Bump app.  I joined a message board, and spent an entire 5 minutes on it before I was done.  Here's the story of why.

When I joined the app, the first place I went was the November due dates message board.  How cool would it be, I figured, to meet people who were going to have babies around the same time as me??

First entry: "Hi everyone, I'm a FTM, due November 6th.  I live in such-and-such city, and my hobbies are blah blah blah..."  

Honestly, everything after the first sentence was a bit of a blur.  Because I couldn't hear it over the voice in my brain that was screaming, "that is SO GREAT that a pregnant trans guy is posting on this message board!  I can't wait to bond with him about our pregnancies."

I scrolled.  A few entries beginning, "hi ladies!" or "hi mamas-to-be!"  (Side note to all pregnancy industry professionals, seriously, stop calling me "mama".  I'm not a mom yet, and even if I were, I'm not yours.  And even if I were, I'd prefer you call me "mom" or "mommy".)

And I felt myself huff.  "Ugh.  So insensitive.  This person JUST posted that he's an FTM - have ever considered that maybe some people on here don't identify as ladies??"

More scrolling.  Another FTM?  What are the chances?  

And then... STM.  STM?  What identity starts with S?  I try to keep up, and as a person who works with transgender folks, I usually do pretty well, but I couldn't...figure...it...out.  Sapiosexual?  That's an identity that starts with S.  But it doesn't make sense in context.  I can't... think of anything else?  What am I missing?

And then a lightbulb.

In my world, FtM means Female-to-Male, as in a transgender man.

In The Bump's world, it's an acronym that means First Time Mom.

But there ARE pregnant people who don't identify as female

Thomas Beattie was on the cover of Time Magazine when I was in graduate school because he was a pregnant man.  He has since borne three children.  There are also TONS of people who identify as non-binary who become pregnant.  A lot of these folks talk about major dysphoria around issues related to their pregnancies.

And yes, the vast majority of people who become pregnant identify as women.  But shit, the last thing in the whole world I want to do is alienate people who are already struggling with what I can attest is a huge life transition with a lot of physical and emotional impact.

So I don't say "pregnant women".  I say "pregnant people".  It's inclusive, it's still accurate, and it does no harm to anyone.